Introduction to Legal Humanist Weddings
Getting married is one of the most joyful occasions in a person’s life. There is much to celebrate: the joy of finding the right partner for you; the love you freely exchange; the merging of two families; the commitment to face the world by each other’s side. There is a lot to rejoice in.
However, as we all know there is a very important legal side to the day. Marriage is a legal contract between two people and there are certain criteria that must be met before and on the day of the wedding in order for the ceremony to be binding. Let me go through some of these now.
Civil Wedding or Secular Wedding- What is the difference?
Both Civil and Secular weddings are legally recognized and binding under Irish law, provided they are performed by a licensed solemniser
The difference between a civil and a secular wedding lies primarily in who performs the ceremony and the nature of the ceremony itself:
A civil wedding is a legally recognised union that is solemnised as a civil contract without a secular or religious ceremony. It is performed, recorded, and recognized by a government official government official or civil registrar employed by the Health Service Executive (HSE). There are no symbolic or religious elements and can occur in a registry office or an approved venue. The focus is solely on the legal aspect of the marriage.
A secular wedding, while also non-religious, is performed by a Humanist Celebrant who is also a registered legal solemniser. These ceremonies can include personalized elements and rituals that are meaningful to the couple but do not reference any religious beliefs.
Only celebrants accredited by the Humanist Association of Ireland can legally officiate at secular weddings in Ireland. Some celebrants accredited by other organisations may claim that they offer humanist weddings, but they cannot. This can be misleading for some couples. What these organisations will offer is a ceremony that makes no religious reference but will be recorded a religious in official government records. Basically, if you truly want a secular wedding, full of meaning and symbol but without any religious connection, a Humanist Wedding is for you.
Venue- Legal Standard for Humanist Weddings
Once you are clear about what kind of wedding you want to have you need to find your wedding venue. All weddings, whether civil, religious or Humanist must meet legal requirements. Humanist weddings can take place only where there is an official Eircode and where there is general, public access.
What does this actually mean? Well, you can’t have your ceremony in your home or back garden because there is no public access- you do not allow strangers to pass through your sitting room on a daily basis, for example.
Equally, you cannot have your wedding on a public beach or forest as it does not have an exact address or Eircode. The place has to be identifiable. If you want to have your wedding outdoors you might consider, using the gardens of a hotel, or beside the visitor centre attached to a landmark or beauty spot. The HSE registrar and your celebrant must be convinced that your venue meets the legal standard. The venue must hit the brief, or the marriage is not legal.
There are simply loads of beautiful places to get married in Ireland. Your celebrant will be able to give you some ideas. Most hotels will be very helpful, and, in my experience, the Office of Public Works (OPW) have some great venues if you want something a little different. Make contact with the venue with the date you have in mind and book it as soon as you are happy.
Booking your Humanist Celebrant
The celebrant you choose will have a huge bearing on your day and the lead up to it. You need to find the right celebrant for you. A lot of my work comes through recommendations, people who have seen me in action at a friend’s wedding or those who know me by reputation.
If you don’t know where to start, your best bet is to visit the HAI website. https://www.humanism.ie/find-a-celebrant/. There is a simple form to fill with the date and county of your wedding. All the available celebrants will pop up and you can read a little about each of them. You can send an enquiry to whoever you like the sound of from there.
The celebrant will get back to you with options to meet, either online or in person. There you can have a chat and see if you get on and have the same vision for your wedding ceremony. Formal booking will follow if everybody clicks.
All the celebrants listed on the HAI website are legal marriage solemnisers. There are some organisations out there who will offer you a wedding ceremony but can’t actually perform the legal duties. Don’t get caught out!
Legal Registration of Humanist Weddings
The next legal requirement is to get a Marriage Registration Form (MRF), sometimes known as a marriage licence from the HSE. You need to do this at least three months before you intend to marry and will need to make an appointment to see a registrar. Although the legal requirement is to register three months in advance, I always advise my clients to make this appointment much further ahead. It is often difficult to get appointments with the HSE registration offices, especially during springtime when demand is very high so don’t leave it until the last minute. You are not required to attend your local HSE registration office so if you are having trouble getting an appointment, it might be worth trying a less busy office within the Irish State.
For this meeting you will need I.D, proof of address, birth certs, the type of ceremony (civil, religious or secular), name and address of the proposed venue, name of registered solemniser name and date of birth of two witnesses aged 18 or older. There are other requirements if you have previously been married or have had a civil partner or if you are not an Irish or EU citizen. You really must be prepared for this meeting and read all the fine print. All the information you need can be found here: How to get married in Ireland - HSE.ie
At this meeting, if all the paperwork is in order, you will be issued with the MRF in a lovely green folder. You give this to your celebrant before your wedding and it will be signed by you both, your witnesses and your celebrant. This signed form must be returned to the HSE registration office within thirty days of the wedding.
Legal Vows, Declarations and Witnesses
A Humanist Wedding is a personal, unique experience tailored to reflect and celebrate your values but there is obviously a solemn, legal side to it too. The vows you make to each other as a couple are binding in law. When your celebrant declares you married, your legal status changes forever.
We all need to be sure what we are doing. That is why you must clearly state that you are aware of no legal impediments to your marriage. When all these vows and commitments are made you must sign the MRF with your celebrant and your witnesses must also sign, verifying that they have heard you say the vows and heard the declarations. It is a big deal. Your life will never be the same again.
Legal Impediments
On the day, everybody must be clear what it is going on. I mentioned legal impediments earlier. Some of these might include the fact that you cannot marry a person who is already married; you cannot marry a person who is underage. (Both parties must be at least 18 years old on the day of the wedding.); you cannot marry a close blood relative; you cannot marry for convenience (A “marriage of convenience” occurs when at least one party, usually a non-Irish national, enters into the marriage solely for immigration advantage.)
There is one other impediment to marriage that might be worth looking at a little closer here and that is Mental Capacity. The capacity to understand the nature of marriage is essential. You must know what is going on throughout the ceremony. You must be sober. It has not happened at any of my weddings, but I have heard stories from my Humanist Celebrant colleagues where either the bride or groom have had too much to drink before the ceremony and were too drunk to proceed. If it were to go ahead, the legality of the ceremony could be challenged as there was not full mental capacity. In these cases, the celebrant may delay the ceremony for a few hours until the bride or groom sobers up but in dire situations, the wedding may have to be postponed to a different date. A word to the wise- go easy on the Bucks Fizz!
Conclusion- Why a Wedding at all?
Why get married at all? A wedding is a public declaration of the love you have for each other as a couple; it signifies the beginning of a new life together; it marks the lifelong commitment you make to each other; it sets in law your status as a spouse; it changes your tax status. These are all great reasons to get married, but it is also a wonderful excuse for the best party of your life. Enjoy every minute of it!
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