Introduction
Many cultures have celebrations and ceremonies to honour the arrival of a new child into the community. A humanist Naming Ceremony is a wonderful opportunity to formally name your baby and mark their journey into the world. It is a great way to recognise the connections we have between families and friends and the role each plays in our children's lives. Naming Ceremonies are a great way to acknowledge the preciousness and promise of each and every one of us and to celebrate the joy, wonder and responsibility of bringing a child into the world.
What happens at a Humanist Naming Ceremony?
So, what actually happens at a Humanist Naming Ceremony? Well, that’s up to you. The first thing I do, as a Humanist Celebrant is listen to what the parents or guardians want. I ask some questions: Have you seen anything you liked at a Humanist Naming Ceremony before? Have you anything specific in mind? Who do you want to involve in the ceremony? We have a conversation and map out a broad plan as to how the ceremony will shape up. Then we get into specifics…
Where will we have our Humanist Naming Ceremony?
There is no constraint on the venue you choose for the Naming Ceremony. Unlike a Humanist Marriage Ceremony, there are no legal requirements to be met.
Some families like to celebrate in the formal setting of a hotel, particularly if you want to invite more people than will comfortably fit in your house or garden. This can obviously add to the cost but can reduce the stress as you don’t have to clean the house from top to bottom and do all the catering yourselves. In my experience, most people choose to celebrate at home. It is a far less formal affair and be quite intimate. If you are doing this, why don’t you organise a crew to help with the preparations and ask your guests to bring a dish for a potluck lunch? This is a concrete example of how the proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” works in practice.
Welcome and Inclusion
We begin our Humanist Naming Ceremony with a welcome for everyone and let them know briefly what is about to happen. For many of the people gathered it may be their first experience of such a ceremony and the feelings may be mixed. Some people there may be secretly wishing that they were in a church for a ‘proper christening.’ A Humanist Naming Ceremony is not anti-religious, it is just non-religious. I try to let people know that they have been invited as they have an important role in the child’s life and the parents or guardians want to celebrate with them specifically. They are being asked to be part of the child’s world. When this is openly stated, everybody feels included.
The Child
In the ceremony, I spend some time speaking about the build up to the arrival of the child. For some families this may not have been an easy journey, and they feel it is important to tell that part of the story. I may talk about the impact the child has had on family life and how other members of the family have received the new baby. I speak about the emerging personality of the child and how they may resemble other family members. I also speak about the hopes the parents or guardians have for the child. I will have gathered all this information at the planning stage with the parents and guardians, and we will often edit together to come up with the perfect version. In most cases I will be the one to tell this story but sometimes the parents or guardians want to tell the story themselves.
Guide Parents
It is traditional for parents and guardians to include others in a special way with the nurturing of their children. Children need role models who are not their closest caregivers. We know as kids grow up there may be times when the parents or guardians are the last ones the child wants to talk to. Here is where the guide parents come in. Guide parents are like the non-religious version of a ‘godparent’. They are not chosen to offer any spiritual assistance but will be there to give moral support, guidance, and advice to the child as the make their way in the world. During the ceremony, the parents and guardians may decide to explain why they have chosen each guide parent. This can be quite a moving part of the ceremony. The guide parents in turn, may make vows or promises to be there for the child now and into the future.
Parental Promises
We have mentioned the vows that the guide parents make to the child but another very important part of the ceremony is where the parents or guardians make their promises to the child. This is full of hope and a real expression of joy and confidence for all the potential the child has. It is here the parents or guardians set out their stall. They outline the values they cherish and promise to encourage these in the child. They describe all the ways they will support their child to be the best they can be and how they will be there when it does not always go according to plan. By choosing a Humanist Naming Ceremony, they are clearly stating that they wish the child to grow up as an independent thinker and they want to foster that most of all.
Other Voices
Ceremonies by their nature are dramatic, formalised, and meaningful. They are a step outside the ordinary for a moment and reflect on things in a more deliberate way. The words we choose may not replicate the normal patterns of speech. They are different and perhaps more reverential. Parents or guardians may choose to bring the voices of great writers and thinkers into the Naming Ceremony with a selection of poems or prose. These readings may be pieces of advice to the child, excerpts from a favourite children’s book, or a vision of what they hope their child will achieve and experience in the future. It is good to bring the wisdom of others and allow other voices to be heard. Actual other voices can be included here with the invitation of friends or family members to read. At the planning stage, I offer the family some sample readings for them to peruse but many have readings of their own in mind already.
Symbolic Gestures
Symbolic gestures often play an important part in a ceremony and there are many that can bring depth and meaning to a Humanist Naming Ceremony. You could light candles; you might have a sand ceremony; you could plant a tree; make a fingerprint tree; start a memory box… There are loads of ceremonial acts and symbols you can use and beautiful words to accompany them and add richness. This is also a lovely opportunity to include you guests and bring them into the ceremony. When I speak to the families at the start, I will explain the meanings and interpretations of the symbols I have used before. Some families will use variations of traditional symbols to reflect their own lives.
The Name
Parents and guardians usually give a huge amount of time and consideration to the name they choose for their little one. It is rarely a decision taken lightly. For some, the name may be passed down through generations; others may pick a name that exemplifies some characteristics that would be desirable for their child; others select a name that reminds them of someone loved or admired; others opt for a name that simply has a good ring to it.
Whatever the reason, the name has huge weight and is likely to follow that person all through their lives. We mark the significance of the name with the Formal Naming in the ceremony where the name is explained and declared. The formal declaration is often the highpoint of the ceremony. I commonly ask everyone to be upstanding here and to proclaim the name together. It brings a nice moment of drama and occasion.
Naming Certificates
Some parents and guardians choose to include a Naming Certificate into the ceremony. While it does not have any legal weight, it is a lovely reminder of the day. It would generally include the name of the child and places for the parents and guide parents to sign. I usually design the Naming Certificate for the family but sometimes the family themselves create it. There have been some really gorgeous compositions over the years that are really personal to the family. We would usually sign the Naming Certificate at the end of the ceremony and many families opt to have a toast directly afterwards to ‘wet the baby’s head’ as it were.
Conclusion
All Humanist Ceremonies are designed to be a personal, meaningful, non-religious celebration of a major life milestone. They are a moment set aside to mark a momentous event. One of the most joyful events in a family’s life is the arrival of another member. Humanist Naming Ceremonies cherish this unique moment of joy. It is an opportunity to show what your family is about, who and what you hold dear and your commitments to making the world a better place for your child. It is a real celebration of hope!
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